There are few cities as iconic as Las Vegas. Whether it’s watching Fear and Loathing, The
Hangover or any movie in the casino-mafia genre, including Oceans 11, Las Vegas pays its rent with interest. The same can be said if you’re a Burner (Burning Man festival go-er), or a UFO fan versed in the Area 51 folklore. There is nowhere like Las Vegas.
Before arriving, I expected Las Vegas to resemble Disneyland: a giant neon-lit miniature golf-course, with as much soul as a residential strip mall. Instead, I found myself merely scraping the surface, like a lottery scratch ticket, and I soon realized there is plenty of adventure for successive trips.
Rather than offering expertise, I’ll genuflect on what Las Vegas means to me. Above all, it’s a place that reminds me why the USA continues to be a great nation. For instance, beyond the slot-machines and green linen casino tables, Las Vegas is an architectural destination, like Paris, like London, even Rome. It’s a place for those who love to gaze up and walk among beautiful buildings and edifices. If “architecture is applied geometry” —and geometry is applied theology, as Robert A. Scott says, one can ask: what exactly is the religiosity of Las Vegas? Given its name “Sin City”, it’s certainly not Churchianity but then again, you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.
Las Vegas is not a cheap place to visit, but there are hacks to be had and advice to be given. What follows is a brief list of activities and the approach I would recommend for your next Las Vegas adventure.
If you’re booking a taxi from the airport, make sure your driver doesn’t “long-haul” you by using detours to your hotel, to maximize the fare. It happens —especially if the driver asks whether it’s your “first time” in Las Vegas. Of course, you can avoid this scam altogether by downloading the Uber (and Lyft) apps, which offer flat-rates to your destinations. That said, a trip downtown from the airport roughly costs $20-$25 USD.
1. Visit the World’s Largest Cannabis Dispensary (Planet 13)
Surely any trip to Las Vegas requires some debauchery. For non-drinkers and those who partake in the “Jazz cigarette”, it’s little surprise that Vegas has the world’s largest cannabis dispensary. Unlike many other dispensaries, which may feel like a university dorm room or a new kind of tea shop, Planet 13 requires guests to register at the door with a government ID to prove you are 21 years old.
Upon entering, you might feel as if you’ve you’re inside some kind of strip mall, with the cannabis store itself resembling an Apple store. You’ll see various marijuana strains on display behind glass. Helpful staff members are available to give personalized tours of the products. Weed has never felt so legit. I recommend the “Purple Punch” shatter (it’s 70% THC!).
2. Wander the Strip with Purpose (and go on a pizza Treasure Hunt!)
Price: FREE
Las Vegas is one of those places you can spend most of your time indoors. Of course, both the casino and hotel establishments encourage that behavior, by depriving guests of seeing clocks and pumping vats of oxygen into comfortable, windowless rooms. For many people, time ceases to exist. Before you grow roots anywhere, however, plan to go for a long walk along the strip. Not only will you get a sense of direction (“wayfaring”), but you’ll also see the outdoor attractions.
For instance, plan to be outside the Mirage Hotel on-the-hour to see the volcano “fire” show (though the schedule changes according to season). Likewise, aim to be outside the Bellagio Hotel to witness the water fountain show, on-the-hour (or every half-hour). These are only two attractions, among many.
3. Visit the Site where Tupac was Shot
Location: East Flamingo Road & Koval Lane
On September 13, 1996, rapper Tupac Shakur was shot on his way back from the Mike Tyson vs Bruce Seldon boxing match at the MGM Grand. Given that Rolling Stone magazine named 2pac the 86th Greatest Artist of All Time and Vibe magazine rates him the “greatest rapper of all time”, his mysterious murder shocked the world. For many people, the news of this death was as memorable as September 11 or the passing of Michael Jackson.
Though the intersection doesn’t advertise its historic significance, it’s a short 10-minute drive from the strip. Consider it a unique pilgrimage for die-hard 2pac fans.
4. Take a Selfie at the “Fabulous Las Vegas” Sign
Price: FREE
You’ve seen it in movies, TV shows, on endless trinkets and souvenirs: the famous “Fabulous Las Vegas” sign. Like many things, this destination is a 15-minute drive from downtown (or an hour walk). Given the difficulty of parking there, many visitors take the bus. Upon arriving, there’ll likely be a lineup of other enthusiast globe-trotters and, if you’re lucky, there may be someone who’ll be willing to help take your picture. Make sure you get Elvis’s “Viva Las Vegas” song in your head for this activity.
5. See Some Flamingos (Flamingo Hotel)
Price: FREE
The Flamingo is not only the first mob-owned hotel in the city but the third resort to open on the Strip and the oldest of its kind in operation today. True to its neon-pink name, there is a “pat” of Chilean flamingos inside its courtyard for visitors (yes, a group of flamingos is called a “pat”).
If flamingos aren’t enough to entice you, The Flamingo also holds regular Paula Abdul and ongoing RuPaul shows. You may not want to spend the night at the Flamingo, however, as its former owner Bugsy Siegel, who was fatally shot, is often seen haunting the pool area (and the Presidential Suite and Wedding chapel) at night.
Bribe the front desk with a $20 bill for a ”Complimentary upgrade”. Las Vegas is an economy that runs on bribes (“tips”).
6. See a Cirque Deux Soleil Show (or several!)
If you’ve never seen a Cirque Deux Soleil show, shame on you. It’s the world’s largest, most reputable international human circus. Originally from Quebec, Cirque is a traveling circus, and has developed many unique shows. In Vegas, however, Cirque has established a few permanent shows, including O, The Beatles, and Love, to name a few. The tickets are a little expensive, but seeing a Cirque show is always a worthwhile experience.
Book all shows in advance. Prices at the door cost an arm (and a few legs!).
7. Get Smart (aquariums and museums)
After some debauchery and eye-candy entertainment, perhaps some intellectual stimulation is in order. One idea is to drop by the Shark Reef Aquarium. There are octopi, sharks, jellyfish, and all kinds of other aquatic wildlife. You can even walk through a panoramic glass tunnel and see the animals swim above (and below) you.
Other nerdcore destinations might include the National Atomic Testing Museum ($22), Zak Bagans’ The Haunted Museum ($44), or The Neon Museum ($30). You could also be particularly nutty and take a 65-mile trip to visit the Nevada Test Site, which used to be the world’s most significant nuclear weapon test site (feeding conspiracies galore as to why UFOs have been seen in the area so often!).
8. Eat a Marky Mark Hamburger (Mark Wahlberg’s family restaurant)
Yes, Mark Wahlberg owns a hamburger joint called “Wahlburgers”. Actually, the Vegas location is one of nearly a dozen shops in North America. At first, I naturally assumed the business venture was a clever ploy to play off his surname. Even if that’s the case, Wahlburgers has damn good burgers and apparently, there’s a remote chance Marky Mark himself might drop by.
Don’t use the ATMs inside the casinos (unless you prefer high fees). Also, make sure to buy bottled water from a legit venue (not a street vendor).oer
Other Notable Mentions…
In addition to the list above, here is a smaller list of more other activities:
- Visit Fremont Street (FSE), including the more “chill” Fremont East
- Go Indoor Skydiving
- Glimpse the beautiful Hoover Dam (an hour drive eastward)
- See Chihuly’s glass ceiling (and conservatory) at The Bellagio
- Learn how to surf at Flowrider
- See the Moulin Rouge (the first desegregated club in Vegas ~thanks to the mob!)
- Behold the world’s largest gold nugget at the Gold Nugget Hotel
- Check out the Las Vegas Oddities shop
- Go Zip Lining!
- Drop by the Arts District
- Have a $1 cocktail at The Cromwell (from 9 am-8 pm)
- Drive a Ferrari (or a different “exotic” car) at ExoticsRacing.com
- Watch the Lake of Dreams show (with a 12-meter waterfall!)
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