Hanoi is a honeycomb in the even larger industrial jungle that is Vietnam, which I offer as a compliment. For instance, everywhere you look are engines humming with entrepreneurs, buzzing with human beings, far beyond the sake of tourists. On any street (or invaded “sidewalk”), metallic sparks fly from barefoot welders bereft of safety masks. Inches away, you may see a woman slaughtering a chicken casually into a sewer drain. Wiggling legs of workers are often seen under open-hooded vehicles. Everyone seems to be fixing, making, driving, or selling something. All at once. The city is a beehive swarming with an eager population in an emerging economy, competing for clients and working as if it’s not humid as f*@$k.

Visitors quickly notice: Hanoi is a loud city. The cacophony of cars and scooters honking is the urban bird song, and it appears there are no driving laws, whatsoever. Crossing the street feels like you are playing a game of Frogger, with five or six invisible lanes to trespass. It’s no place to be polite or shy. Yet, rest assured, once you adjust to the city rhythm, it gets less intimidating.

Expats fondly call Vietnam the “Wild West” for good reason. It may not be for everyone, but Hanoi is a great way to experience the busy, hustling side of South East Asia. In terms of Western images, it’s almost off-the-grid: there are no 711s (just Circle Ks and family-owned shops) and to date, I have only ever seen one Starbucks. Strangely, I have also only seen two or three police officers (which may explain the seeming lack of traffic laws).

On the other hand, there are more scooters than humans and more zeros on the paper money than there should be —especially for a country that doesn’t use coins. A typical price for an hour massage, for instance, is $250,000 Vietnam Dong ($8.50 USD) and a typical tip is $20,000 Vietnam Dong ($0.85 USD).

This article is by no means a definitive account of Hanoi and the surrounding area, but it may offer some ideas if you choose to meander through the honey dripping spiral of Vietnamese streets.

1. Old Quarter: Visit or Stay

To be fair, the majority of my Hanoi experience is within Hanoi’s Old Quarters (a.k.a. “the 36 Streets”). For visitors, this area is a dense, convenient neighbourhood, comprising of 76 streets —in the vague shape of a triangle. It is the commercial heart of Hanoi and, in terms of traditional architecture, it is a testament to the colonial presence of France.

If you arrive during the daytime, be aware that things will change drastically by nightfall. Many of the Old Quarter streets are transformed into night markets when foot pedestrians replace vehicles.

Regarding the nightlife, you will encounter countless drinking spots, with most of the seating provided on outdoor plastic tools. You may also come across places that offer shisha (hookah) tobacco, to enjoy with your drink. If unsure what tobacco flavor to order, I suggest choosing apple or grape, being the most common, though I tend to prefer something citrus.

You might also see patrons huffing Nitrous Oxide (“laughing gas”) from hand-held party balloons. Yup. This is the same drug administered by your dentist (or doctor) before dental surgery or before going under the knife. Perhaps you’re wondering: why would people want to do Nitrous?! Wouldn’t they just fall asleep?

To explain, Nitrous is fun —and no, people don’t fall asleep. Rather, the slight high (presumably from killing brain cells) feels a bit like alcohol. But that’s my opinion. And I prefer beer.

2. Wander around the City’s Lakes

When you eventually need to retreat from the noise and traffic (or shake off your Laughing Gas hangover!), your best bet is a walk around some of the city’s scenic lakes. One great example is Hoàn Kiếm Lake (a.k.a. the “Lake of the Restored Sword”). It only takes about 20-minutes. Other lakes include West Lake, Truc Bach Lake, Bay Mau Lake, Thien Quang Lake.

3. Imperial Citadel of Thăng Long (a.k.a. the Hanoi Citadel)

  • General time: 8am-5pm
  • Price of admission: 15-30k

This UNESCO site is a slice of Vietnamese history. Some of the enclosures date back to the year 1010, during Vietnam’s dynastic days, but much of it was built on a 7th-century Chinese fortress. Nowadays the French barracks, gates, and historic remnants make this location a great photography spot.

Getting Around: If you’ve decided not to stay in the Old Quarter, you will either need to use the services of taxicabs or those “Tuk Tuks” (as called in Thailand). Refer to our Thailand article for tips about scammers. Also, there is the Hanoi city bus —and you can download the TimBuyt app for schedules. 

If you’ve read the introduction to this article, you should know that renting a vehicle and driving yourself is probably a terrible idea.

4. Halong Bay: Where King Kong meets Fraggle Rock

  • Price: approx. $30 USD (for a round-trip bus ride and one-day boat ticket)
  • Time investment: 1 long day (or ideally, an overnight trip to break up the commute)

Three hours north-east from Hanoi is the ocean. It is also where Halong Bay resides. You may recognize this famous landscape as the background in the 2017 King Kong movie. There are many places in Hanoi, especially within the Old Quarter, that offer day-trips (or at least, transportation) to Halong Bay.

If you decide to take a boat trip, you will have the opportunity to see Chicken Rock, the image on the $200,000 bill. Though it certainly doesn’t look like a chicken, at least it can help you familiarize with the (confusing) variety of your paper money!

Also, when visiting Halong Bay, visitors are often shown the renowned stalactite caves. One particular cave, the Thien Cung Cave, was allegedly discovered by a fisherman chasing a monkey he had been hunting. Retreating into the stalactite fortress, the monkey led the fishermen to the breathtaking glimpse of “Heaven’s Gate”. On a sunny day, it is as magical as Dark Crystal. At the very least, the caves may also remind you of Fraggle Rock.

Finally, if you have enough time in Halong Bay, make sure to go kayaking! As mentioned above, being a minimum of three hours from Hanoi, it is ideal to spend the night in Halong Bay or a nearby town, to break up the commute.

5. Vietnamese Cuisine!

  • Average Price: $2.50 USD-$6 USD

It’s cheap. It’s fresh. It’s usually quite healthy —and delicious. Eating the local cuisine sure adds great value to a Vietnam adventure.

Egg Coffee and Traditional Vietnamese Coffee

I admit Egg coffee sounds gross. But so does Eggnog. Depending on where you go (and it’s everywhere in Hanoi), this beverage is usually served hot with rich creamy (eggy) froth on a pond of espresso. It’s literally a layer of sweetness sitting on a foundation of caffeine. You may want to stir your egg coffee if you want to avoid a mouthful of espresso when you reach the bottom.

Likewise, Vietnamese-style coffee is also quite sweet, on account of the generous serving of condensed milk. There will certainly be no need to add additional sugar or creamers.

Pho Soup —Pho’ Sho!

Though it’s generally pronounced as “fo” by foreigners (like “fee-fi-fo-fum”), this famous Vietnamese soup sounds more like “fuh” when spoken by locals. Characterized by rice noodles, with either beef, chicken, or seafood, Pho is an ideal dish if you can’t make up your mind: it’s never too sweet or salty.

Vietnamese Submarine Sandwich

This common street-food dish can be described as a baguette sandwich. It is sometimes fried and often includes bean sprouts, meat, peanuts, cilantro, and that signature sweet sauce.

Let the Good Times Roll…

When ordering entrées at restaurants, you will soon encounter a style of eating that may not be familiar. For example, you may be served with various plates of vegetables, such as a plate of leafy greens or bean sprouts, etc. There may also be a plate of rice noodles, spring rolls, and/or meat. Accompanying these platters, there will likely be a plate of rectangular “rice papers”.

The idea is to wrap all the goodies into the rice papers like a cigar or burrito.  This style of eating is done without utensils, although most people use chopsticks when filling the wrap. Bon appetit!

Rice Noodle (meat or veggie) dishes

Finally, the easiest and most reliable dish, in terms of price and taste, are the various noodle (or rice) dishes. Because the spices are usually provided on the table, you never have to worry about dishes being too spicy.

5. See a Puppet Show!

Returning to entertainment, Hanoi offers various cultural activities including the iconic Puppet Shows. One particular theatre sits along the Hoàn Kiếm Lake within the Old Quarter.

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